5 Kinds of Uniuyo Students as School Resumes.

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by Itty Okim

Even after eleven months of being at home due to the Corona virus pandemic and then the longest ASUU strike recorded in Nigeria’s recent history, many students seem to still want to be left alone, living the good life and getting ‘taken kiarof’

However, this might just be me making a hasty generalisation. Here is a list of five different kinds of Uniuyo students and their reaction towards school reopening. Number five might be you.

1. “I Can’t Kill Myself” Geng

This gang does not kill themselves with night class, or hurry to lectures, or fight for registration or anything. They just want to be baby boys and sweet girls. If enjoyment is not involved, no call their name put. This life na one and they will live it to its fullest.

2. Team BGS

These ones are shockingly excited about school reopening. They read throughout the lockdown and strike, so they are excited to come and show the world all the knowledge they have soaked in. You might call them “over sabi”, but that’s your business. For them, they are securing their future.

3. The Marriage Train

These babes (and guys) put a ring to their relationships during the lockdown. And so everybody on campus must see the ring. Henceforth, they will use their ring finger to do everything so that it will sha enter your eyes and you’ll tell “God when” in your mind.

4. Wahala be like Benz

Idleness made many to begin “yahoo yahoo” during the long break. And because they have good head, they made a few ‘picks’ and they are now big boys. They will drive their big cars to class and flaunt their ice. You will be intimidated, but you will console yourself with the fact that God no go shame you.

5. God No Go Shame Us

“Let by-gones be by-gones” is their motto. Anything learnt in 2020 has gone with the year. Now, they have to study all over to remember even their course codes. Let’s not even talk about reg number, room number or class rep’s name. I would have added the name of their “school boo”, but let’s move on.

Surprisingly, I think I fall into all the categories. But tell me, which number are you?

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